Ech omrim "flatter your body" b'Ivrit?

Today was one of many-of-late abnormally lovely January Saturdays in Israel (how many qualifiers can I put in one sentence?) HaHaver and I started our morning with a run along the sea from Jaffo to the Tel Aviv harbor and back. We then had a great breakfast in Jaffo, and then headed to one of the many restaurant-bars along the sea just north of Jaffo for a beer in the sun before heading back to the J'lem mountains.

Guys, the people-watching in this country is amazing, especially in Tel Aviv and especially on the sea. There is such an amazing mix of locals and tourists, from all religions and classes and backgrounds. I remember being young and sitting in a mall or airport with my mom, and we would make up stories about the people walking by, so I know how to people-watch. Today, I had the most fun observing the fashion that paraded before me. It was a nice day, but it's still January, so people aren't exactly in beach attire. (For the most part). So it's that weird it's-nice-out-but-still-winter-so-I'll-just-wear-a-scarf-with-my-flipflops sort of a day.

I don't pretend to be incredibly fashion-forward, but I do have a fashion philosophy: clothes should make you look good. Why wear something if it makes you look terrible? Apparently, this philosophy has not made it to this country. Stacy and Clinton would have an absolute field day with the 30+ females here. Or maybe even they would throw their hands up in exasperation.

"I'm terribly sorry, but there's nothing we can do for you unless you
hand over the Bedazzler."

What do I mean? Well, most 18-25 year old are incredibly good-looking and trendy - right now it's kind of a blend of hipster and 80s. Leggings and Converse sneakers are everywhere. If you're under 25, gorgeous and thin, you could wear a potato sack and look good, but I also won't feel visually offended if you wear leggings as pants and a style of shoe I begged my parents for when I was 10. (Punky Brewster hot pink hi-tops, baby).

The problem is, these fashions are also seen on 40 year olds with more than a few extra pounds on them. NOT FLATTERING, I don't CARE how "in style" something is. It's like they saw something on a 50-kilo model, bought it in the same size, squeezed into it, and then went out of the house without one backward glance into a mirror. I know, I know, it happens everywhere, but here for some reason it is just so apparent - maybe because in general Israeli women truly are gorgeous and you find yourself pitying the woman who has such POTENTIAL to look SO amazing. Combine this with the obsession with sequins and nonsensical English t-shirts, and you have yourself a fashion crisis, my friends. I found myself wishing for a camera to document some of the atrocities I saw today, but I would have run out of memory on my zillion GB memory chip.